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October 02, 2005
"The Power of Talk" Response
I really enjoyed this essay because I think that it is very true to life. For the last few years of high school, I was in classes with relatively the same group of people. The four boys were very good friends, as were the eight or so girls. But, I recognize alot of what Deborah Tannen discusses in her article as what went on in our classes. The boys were always happy to share their achievements, academic, athletic, whatever. (These boys, through another interesting "gender conflict" that I would love to research sometime, never did (or do) any work, yet always got excellent grades.) The girls on the other hand, were a bit more modest and did not announce their achievements, but waited until they were asked about them. The boys were quick to put eachother down, while the girls were more supportive and respectful of eachother. As a group, we grew very close and very comfortable with eachother. However, despite our closeness, these characteristics continued to hold true.
Another reality that I recognized in this essay was the manner in which a female criticizes or corrects a subordinate versus the way a male does the same thing. I think that this is true in many workplaces. In the movies (and although I realize that movies are not the ultimate example, I think they can serve some purpose), female coworkers often form a firm rapport despite their status level. Male coworkers are less likely to do so and much more openly critical of secretaries and other subordinates. A real-life example that I can give of this is in my dentist's office. There are three dentists who work there, twin sisters (their dad used to be the primary dentist) and one of their husbands. The female dentists are much more friendly, jovial, and supportive of the numerous female dental hygenists who work there. The male, however, while not rude to the dental hygenists, does not establish the same level of friendship. This is what I think may be a bonus to the female communication skills, friendship. Meanwhile, men are more competitive and thus less likely to establish friendships in the workplace.
--Brenna DeCotis
Sorry this is so long! I always have the intention of writing a short essay, but obviously it never works out.
Posted by lciscotis at October 2, 2005 10:55 PM
Comments
Brenna,
The Tannen article indirectly sheds light on why the boys in your class achieved high marks while they did compartively little / no work, I think.
And I find your observations of the interactions between staff in your dentists office facinating. I wonder if both the male and female dentists treat their subordinates in the same fashion as you observed when clients are not present?
I also wondered about the ways in which women often tend to be familiar and friendlly and yet are sometimes no less demanding or critical than their male counterparts - they just express it differently. In fact I think sometime women bosses are harder!
~ Nanette
Posted by: Nanette Savides at October 4, 2005 08:48 PM