« Dialects | Main | Questions about Chapter 10 Content »
November 13, 2005
Conversational Styles
At first when we received this assignment I was somewhat reluctant to do it. I did not want to purposefully fill a conversation with long and awkward pauses because I don't like the thought of making someone else feel uncomfortable when they are talking to me, but I then realized that in going home for the long weekend I would have the opportunity to try this experiement with an old friend.
This friend has always had a very different conversational style than anyone else I have ever met. He talks extremely slow, often times pausing for about five seconds before continuing a thought. This pace always annoyed me, and I would usually fill these pauses because they made me uncomfortable. However, every once and I while I would wait a pause out and sure enough he would have something to say at the end of it. It's like during that pause his brain is working to sort things out and concisely say what it is he wants to say.
So I decided that when I talked to him this weekend I would fight the urge to fill these pauses, and instead I would just let him talk. There was a distinct difference between the conversation I had with him this weekend and any other conversation we have ever had before. I felt like he did most of the talking, whereas before it was the opposite, and I was the one to always do all the talking. Even though for me having those long silences was uncomfortable, I realized that for him it wasn't at all, and he probably viewed our conversation as an enjoyable one.
Doing this experiment made me wonder if he has always felt like I interrupt him, whereas I have always thought that in talking a lot I was doing him a favor by making the conversation less awkward. It was a good experience to have because it will probably affect the way we talk in the future in that I will make more of an effort to give him time to finish talking.
Posted by lcissullivan at November 13, 2005 06:51 PM