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November 17, 2005
Gender Roles
After reading "Why Boys Don't Play With Dolls," by Katha Pollitt, and "Snakes and Snails," by Ellen, I've realized that determining what makes a girl "girly" and what makes a boy "macho" is so much more complicated than the toys they play with.
Both essays have left me feeling defeated in regards to raising children. It seems that you can either go with the flow and let your girls play with Barbies and your boy with toy guns, or you can desert these conventions and raise your children as you see fit. Both paths seems to have their advantages and disadvantages, leaving me to believe that there really is no perfect way to raise a child. No matter what you tell them, what beliefs you impose on them, you will be doing them both good and harm. In letting them do the typical kid stuff they might never learn that girls can play in the mud and boys can do ballet, but in holding them back from the typical kid stuff, you will only create feelings of lonliness and hostility as they feel different than their friends. How do you raise a child who is able to think outside of the box and not conform to stereotypes, but at the same time doesn't feel like he or she has missed out on a normal childhood? I don't think anyone really has the answer to this, and perhaps this is why when you look at adults, you see that everyone has their issues, most of which stem from their childhood experiences.
One confusing aspect of gender roles is whether or not they are determined by Biology or society. The cartoon at the end of "Why Boys Don't Play With Dolls" displays the idea that girls are the way they are because of Biology. How else could you explain the fact that a 3 or 4-year-old tends to nurture everything she comes in contact with? It seems that she is too young and hopefully too unexposed to society to have learnt this kind of behavior. Another idea is that society determines why boys and girls act certain ways. In the case of Ellen's son, one could say that he would never have felt the desire to have a toy weapon had he not had experiences such as the one at the circus, where he was surrounded by other boys with laser swords. Was his desire for that sword really innate, or was it merely a result of our society?
The roles of males and females are probably due to a mix of Biology and society. Biology may determine up to a point whether or not a young girl would rather play indoors with dolls or outside in the dirt, but these roles are more clearly defined by society.
Posted by lcissullivan at November 17, 2005 02:16 PM